The Professional Webspace of Designer and Illustrator Kevin Cornell:
"Design, Art, and Lackluster Humor."
Standing Up
I've seen a couple of lemonade set-ups around the neighborhood this spring. All of them are disgraceful. Kids today have no respect for the Art of Signage. And talk about overbearing sales techniques!? Kid, I'm standing right in front of you. STOP SHOUTING.
I truly believe I could run a superior lemonade stand. After all, where they're weak, I am strong (I'm specifically referring to the realm of advertising – muscularly, both I and the children are weak). I know how to get the public interested in lemonade again. A bigger sign. Maybe a celebrity endorsement (Waffles is VERY popular with this regional audience). I might even arrange a sweepstakes of some sort — first ten customers win a fabulous trip to that house that still has its Christmas display up. There's a lot of options, here. The sky is the limit when it comes to the market potential of lemonade, especially as we head into peak thirst season.
That being the situation, I am currently preparing for my interview with one of the local stands. The kid who runs things is named Jerry. He says he's in the fifth grade, but he thinks like a sixth or seventh grader. The kid's a shark. You can see it in his eyes. Some little punk is also vying for the opening, but word on the street is he picks his nose, and I think that hurt his chances with Jerry. The kid's a shark.
So keep your fingers crossed. This could be the leg-up my career needs. I made some sweet scratch on that jury duty venture, but I need to diversify.
Comments on this Article
There are currently 21 comments.
3. J.R.
Waffles is getting an awful lot of play in your commentary lately. Is he on the verge of having his own comic strip, or is it just a case of the best name for a dog in the history of the universe?
4. bearskinrug
Anders - You may have a point. Calvin's imaginary pet is much more constructive than mine.
J.R. - Waffles is definitely the best name for a dog ever. It's hard to even write a comment without mentioning the Waffleses... See?
5. jordan
I like the colour you've chosen for the background. Ordinarily, it'd be rather... 'pukey', but it works well given the topic. As for the lemonade job, all it reminds me of is 'get a leg up on the pile', (see the Senor Mortgage toon on Homestar ;).
7. bearskinrug
Hah Hah! I was waiting for someone to notice. His competitive edge is SO great he doesn't even have to offer a product... :)
8. Charles
For some odd reason, I thought he was putting the guys kids out of business by standing in front of their lemonade sign and tapping it to death... until it hit me, the monkey is selling lemonade! Like, why on earth would you buy lemonade from 2 stupid neighborhood kids when you could fork over your hard-earned change to a monkey! Heck, even though he doesn't have any lemonade I'd still fork over the change just to see him grab it and put it in his pocket... assuming he had pockets of course... does mojo have pockets?
10. wayne
man, i could really go for a lem ona de. or maybe an emonade! i haven't decided, thought the exclamation point is rather convincing.
11. bearskinrug
No matter how those letters are organized, Wayne, it still spells "Delicious!"
Oh - wait... it doesn't...
It COULD spell:
EMEN LOADAnd maybe if we used the PLURAL of Lemonade we could spell — Oh. Dear me...
That doesn't spell "Delicious" either...
12. jordan
Well, it's a fairly-well-known fact that lemonade is an anagram of melonade... at least, in the literary books for children.
13. bearskinrug
TEACHER: "Can anyone unscramble the letters in melonade to make another word, children?"
JERRY: "Well, if you used the plural, you'd almost get semen load, teacher..."
The kid's a shark, I tell ya.
15. bearskinrug
Well... there's three dogs. I named them all Waffles. I name all Golden Retrievers 'Waffles'. Why use different names when that one name is sooooo perfect?
16. Phil
That Dad is an awful bully.
How DARE he make Mojo close down.
It makes my blood boil.
18. McMullen
What will the family do when the sugar factory down the road goes out of business? Talk about putting all of your eggs in one basket!
19. bearskinrug
I hear ya, McMullen - cartoon families these days take unforgiveable risks!
20. Carkazd
wow. Not only have I been suprised by Mojo's amazing "how-to-sell-more-limonade-than-them-kids-next-to-me" skills, the billboard clearly shows his carpenting skills are pretty amazing, too.
21. Jeff Louella
Waffles? I thought that was already John Kerry's middle name. Oh wait, John who?
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1. Anders
screw KEVIN, the kids should hone their signage skills reading CALVIN...oh yeah, and Hobbes... ;)