The Professional Webspace of Designer and Illustrator Kevin Cornell:
"Design, Art, and Lackluster Humor."
Slob Sob Stories
In my life, I've had several roommates, but I'm happy to say all have been pretty easy to get along with. Except for one.
It's not that I don't like the guy. I mean, we still get along well, and we're both quite similar to one another. But I have to admit he's really high maintenance. For one thing, he has particular dietary needs, so he needs this special food that I have to buy because I do the food shopping. But he still eats all my food if I'm not around. Also, he never picks up his stuff, and his breath stinks. I find his crap lying around all the time, and while it bothers me, it never bothers him, so I have to put it away. He never makes plans of his own, so when I go out he's always like "Hey— can I tag along?" And if I do take him, he will not shut up the whole time. And he's got a horrible temper.
He does let me scratch his belly though. Which, even I'll admit, is kind of cool.
So... anyone have any good "Roommate From Hell" stories?
And by the way...
This here comic was my submission for Longshot Magazine Issue One, with the theme of "Comeback". And while my contribution didn't make the cut, I encourage you to head over there and check the issue out if you haven't already. And if you like what you see, definitely get yourself a copy. I guarantee it will not eat the last of the leftovers in the fridge. Which is always a plus.
Comments on this Article
There are currently 12 comments.
2. KeepingYouAwake
With so many years passed, it's hard to say it's a horrible roomate story, but when your best friend's a drummer in a metal band and you're not friends with the same people anymore and you've been sleeping over with your girlfriend most of the time you've loved together, things can get a little prickly.
This doesn't mean, however, that you can't ask him and his stoned friends to help you steal a stop sign that's just been knocked over down the road. They'll totally do it.
3. bearskinrug
4. Greg
I had a house full of room mates many many years ago. (My abacus doesn't count back that far). On of the said room mates was a real PITA. Now this was back in the day when we had cordless phones with a base station. In the evenings when we had parties he'd go up to his room and talk to his girlfriend on the cordless phone; or more like sexy talk. Well, if you plug that base station in the same outlet as the stereo you could tune in the conversation on the AM channels on the stereo. Made for some excellent party noise.
5. bearskinrug
I'm in favor of sexy phone talk. It's bound to be a shorter phone call. Unless you forget to hang up before you nod off.
6. Vito
I got all the way down to the "scratch his belly" part before I realized you weren't talking about me. Damn you.
7. bearskinrug
Hahah - you should have known by the "particular dietary needs" that I wasn't talking about you. The only dietary need you had was that whatever you ate wasn't poisoned. And even THEN...
8. Tudorminator
Ernie definitely doesn't deserve this. Not with those eyes and ears...
9. Opspraak
Dearest Kevin.
I don't have a roommate from hell story, although I did once board with a super hilarious gay-brit whilst I was a student.
What I do have however, is a great deal of admiration for this tale - so fantastic! Really loved it!
10. Firebear
Years ago I moved from a sleepy countryside village to the Big City to study and live in an apartment shared by three students. After three days living there I caught the first glimpse of my flatmate. He casually walked to the kitchen where I was cooking and asked "do you mind if I grow some weed(as in the illegal kind) in my closet?" Me: "ummm, I have a fern so I guess I can't tell you not to have any plants yourself..."
Not exactly a roommate from hell but it seemed funny at the time.
11. bearskinrug
Tudorminator - I hate to break this to you... but those are eye and ear implants. He's totally fake.
Opspraak - Super-hilarity is always the superpower I ask for when I send letters to the Green Lantern Corps.
Firebear - I can't believe you smoke fern. That stuff is so bad for you.
12. Phyllis
I haven't had many roommates in my life. The worst housemates I've had to live with are my own offspring and I trust that Kharma will catch them up soon enough and I will so be there to say, "Told you so." My cat's not an excellent roommate, either, since his idea of a fun evening is bringing home a nearly dead squirell and releasing it into the house. Sadly, it seems cats are exempt from Kharma -that or it gets saved up for one of their other 7 or 8 lives. I love the idea of Satan showing up for his stuff ... is it possible to TP or egg the Pearly Gates? Or, spray paint!! I can see Satan being a real vandal!
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1. Laurie
nice wun! :D