Resolve

I resolve to stop taking afternoon fiestas in peoples attics. After all, the dust and insulation don't bode well with my skin type.

Btw. Your new feed is borked.

Oh... wailey wailey wailey !
Can no-one hear the moaning of a poor house-inspector then?
Will someone get me out of this here attic?

Greg - Wait - do you fiesta or siesta? Because a fiesta should attract a lot more attention!

By the way, how was it borked?

House Inspector - You have internet access up there? Can you email me an invoice then?

Siesta would sound like snores while Fiesta results in horrible wailing sounds because I party wile playing my didgeridoo.

I resolve to be more lazy.

I figure that having failed to keep every single resolution I have ever made in the past, this plan should be aces for 2009!

I resolve to get fatter, uglier, lazier, and care less than last year because no matter what I resolve, that's what happens anyway!

Terry - I can see you now... yelling at yourself for riding a bike "Goddammit! I'm burning calories!".

William - Even so, that's a lot of resolutions to make all at once. It's like you're not even trying to be lazy!

He went out of business? Well, if you've never thought about going into the home inspecting business, you've already got a problem in the attic and a new van. This might be a sign that you should try it. With great vans come great responsibilities.

Sounds in the attic? That doesn't sound like a job for a home inspector.

It does however sound like a perfect job for someone small, brown and furry.

And no I am not talking about one of my alpacas.

You are correct, whaling is a horrible, brutal practice… hang on. *adjusts monitor*

Never mind.