The Professional Webspace of Designer and Illustrator Kevin Cornell:
"Design, Art, and Lackluster Humor."
Revenge is a Dish Best Served With Sprinkles
Seeing as the last post revealed an appalling lack of Lewis comics on this site, I figured I'd dig one up from the pile and post it. This one is probably about a year or two old, and it's actually based on an episode of my life. Well... sort of.
I don't remember the exact circumstances, but when I was a young lad, I remember going to a party with a buddy of mine and his girlfriend. Now, the people there were all friends of his girlfriend, so I didn't really know anyone, making me the perfect target for jack-assery. And true enough, at some point in the night, one of the jackasses emerged from the herd and threw his beer on me.
And so I began plotting my revenge. I planned to wait until he passed out — which he would undoubtedly do, based on his consumption rate — and then steal his wallet. At the time, it didn't occur to me that this was a crime. I suppose because it wasn't motivated by my desire for his money, but more because it's really inconvenient to lose your wallet.
Unfortunately, we left the party before I could put my plan into effect. Which is probably for the best. Even stealing from jerks is a high-risk venture. The older and wiser me would never do this. Because I know the best way to inconvenience someone is to discreetly replace their shoes with slightly smaller shoes.
Comments on this Article
There are currently 22 comments.
2. bearskinrug
Well... he might be wearing fisherman's waders. But either way, it's a poor fashion choice.
3. Isaac
And whether they're waders or onesies, they must be the reason Lewis had to steal the wallet and couldn't simply replace his shoes.
4. The Colonel
I never would've pegged old Lewis as the vengeful type, he always seemed more the lovable rube.
Seems anyone can be pushed over the line... Lew's line appears to be drawn with banana-flavored ice cream.
5. bearskinrug
6. William Stewart
I think this is where situational ethics comes to play. It's sort of like the "'I' before 'E' except after 'C'" rule. It's wrong to steal unless you are a sock monkey who just got your ice cream cone stolen by a thug in onesies (or waders).
7. martha
hahahaha... this is one of my favorite posts
i laughed out loud. and i'm going to have to try that shoes-with-smaller-shes thing
all these arrests for stealing people's wallets are starting to really mess up my prospects for one day ruling the world
8. Captain Purple
He who lives by the wader/onesie dies by the sock monkey.
Odd, that sounded good in my head, but now that I see it on the screen it just looks strange. Perhaps I should rethink the tatoo?
9. bearskinrug
10. Gerren
I love panel five, that moment of trust between the two of them. great stuff.
11. His Royal Majesty
Everyone has limits and a head.
But only since 1971 (at least in Finland), since that was the time when they changed the law about definition of legal death. No brain (head) no life. Before that it was more of a Moral knightly thing with, no heart (and lungs) no life. ;)
12. Elinoire
Nothing against Lewis (or Mojo -- Lord knows I don't want *him* mad at me) but how desireable is an ice cream cone once it's been licked by a monkey?
13. bearskinrug
Gerren - thanks!
His Royal Majesty - Yeah. I guess everyone needs a heart too. Who knew nature was so complex!
Elinoire - Well, a monkey's mouth is only slightly less clean than a dog's mouth. And a dog's mouth is much cleaner than a humans.
The cleanest mouth in nature belongs to the Listerine Snail.
14. Jared
This reminds of the time that I got mugged. The swollen eye, bloody lip, and scraped forehead were great for sympathy hugs and sympathy whiskey. But the hassle of replacing my driver's license, credit cards, and coffee club cards was a pain in the arse.
I hope those guys bought some tainted meth with the $13 bucks they stole.
15. bearskinrug
Wow... I remember you mentioning that...
If there's any justice in this world, they're being defibrillated right now, Jared.
17. Shane
A great joke I would play on people is to hide their alarm clock in the aircondition vent and ahve it set for like3:30am.
That way when they wake up they will never be able to find it, and what will make it even better, is it will continue to go off EVERY day until they do finally find it.
18. bearskinrug
That's almost a public service. People should be up around 3:30 anyways. That's the best time to cook an egg.
19. Vito
Was this year 1 of our 4 straight years of terrible New Years events? I believe it was. I also believe you used a lot more expletives in describing why you wanted to take his wallet. This story has begun much more PG in the last 10 years. I like the R version better.
20. bearskinrug
I think it was - and it took me a while to remember just what the situation was. I couldn't remember why I'd be at a party with all these strangers.
I guess I blocked it out.
21. Jam
Rather unfortunate thumbnail of this comic on the homepage... no?
is it just me??
22. bearskinrug
HAHAA - I DEFINITELY did not notice that when I posted it!
You've got a filthy mind, Jam ;)
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1. testMonkey
I think Lewis made the right call with the wallet, then. You know, since this jackass is wearing pajama pants with the built in slippers.
Ah, too bad we can't always tell the bad guys apart by their use of onesies.