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The Virtues of Virtues
Selflessness is a top-notch heating method. Other virtues that keep you warm are Piety and Reverence. Honesty has slighty warming effects, but for the most part it brings mild guilt. Punctuality ensures healthy teeth and gums; so stay prompt if you can't monitor your sugar intake.
Comments on this Article
There are currently 21 comments.
4. Pierce
That's ok. You just have to balance your self-righteousness with cynicism, which is good for pubic hair. And also helps prevent brittle bones in later life.
6. Biggest Apple
Fortitude sounds like a great virtue on paper but sadly causes horrific constipation.
8. Ara Pehlivanian
His selflessness seems inversly proportional to his intelligence. Thermodynamics plays no favourites.
In the next frame (mercifully hidden from our view), he freezes in his virtuous stupor.
9. Mr. David
Mr. Pehlivanian's right.
Though selflessness makes you feel warmer for a short time, it actually restricts the bloodstream, thus making your body lose heat faster.
That poor Ambidextrous bastard is as good as dead within the hour.
12. paul
which is actually much much worse than pubic hair. public hair is the hair that everyone judges you by!
14. norm
selflessness is next to godlessness, which is a nearest neighbor to self-righteousness, which is seated just behind buttlessness, who is standing across from gutlessness, who is cantilevering over senselessness who has had too many shots of jager and is passed-out on the floor for all at the company holiday party to see...
17. jordan
Perhaps if that frigid chap were to put some clothes on, he'd be a bit warmer...
19. Greggie
Just ask my friend, Wes. Poor sumbitch had his lower vertibrae fused when he was 14 and because of this has no butt. He's like a damn board. Goes from back to leg ... hehhehe ...
Funny thing is, though, that he is that he is selfless, godless, self-righteous AND buttless and he keeps a bottle of Jaeger in his freezer. Hmmm ... makes you wonder how he fits all of that into the same chair.
20. greenlikeahappyfrog
i find that blatant stupidity can really keep you toasty...as you really have no concept of temperature extremes...or comfort. or clever repartee. you just wanna go watch that polar bear, play with the fire. ahhhhhhhhh.....mmmmm. toasty!
21. ed
i bought ambidextrous yesterday and it is one of the funniest things i have ever read. put out your next bbok soon !!
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1. Pierce
Self-righteousness can maintain a full, healthy head of hair, or so I've heard.